Thursday, June 30, 2005

L.A. Story

Yesterday, I attended the annual Humanitas Prize luncheon at the Hilton by Universal Studios. I value Humanitas for its intelligence in making virtue and responsibility in screenwriting a financially rewarding decision for Hollywood writers and producers. The Prize was originated thirty-something years ago by, my former boss and now deceased, Fr. Elwood "Bud" Kieser. The banquet is always a well-produced affair, where one can rub shoulders with both idealistic passionate writers and jaded veterans from the creative side of the business.

Keynote speaker, Frank Pierson (Cool Hand Luke, Dog Day Afternoon) said some nice things about being a writer, and then launched into a sniping, self-righteous rant against the stupid people who are ruining America by trying to censor Hollywood and artists. These are the same stupid (did I mention religious?...Pierson did) people who completely over-reacted to poor Janet Jackson's bared-breast at the Superbowl. These same stupid people, are now on a dangerous crusade to purge all art and entertainment from any hint of human darkness or struggle. The stupid people, according to Pierson, who have completely politicized all of art and cultural life want all art to be depictions of goodness and light, and ("damn them!") they will put all of us in Hollywood in torture camps if we don't do their bidding! Or maybe even take away our BMW's!!!) To the barricades to make the planet safe for the Spice Channel and Hustler magazine!

Then, there was an acceptance letter from John Wells, who finally won a Humanitas Prize for an ER episode, after seven nominations. Wells' letter was another wild-worded warning about the (RELIGIOUS) forces of evil that have destroyed America's reputation in the modern world. Apparently, the whole frickin planet LOVED America as late as 1999, but the (damn! and stupid!)Christian Right has ruined everything by bombing everybody instead of letting a coalition of Hollywood writers and producers schmooze the angry terrorists. Again, Wells' tone was that the people who oppose his values, are stupid, evil, menacing, and, love this one, well-financed.

This is a kind of insanity. The suggestion that the Christian Right "politicized" art and culture has no connection with reality. Christians, as a rule, don't make art and culture. We have no power. But, it is a strange industry pathology for folks in this business to see themselves always as oppressed. They can't stop being the 1960's flower children, raging against the establishment. They haven't seemed to notice that they ARE the establishment now! Secondly, I rarely if ever hear Christians say they want entertainment to just be happiness and light. We are the ones who made The Passion of the Christ - slightly dark there - the box-office monster of 2004 after all. Everywhere I go, Christians are concerned to make movies that show the darkness AND the light in juxtaposition. Pierson and the elite legions at Humanitas were ranting against a foe of their imagination's own making. The people they hate don't exist...or if they do, they certainly aren't any one being listened to and followed.

My friend, sitting next to me, was working on her TV show outline during the speeches. She is smarter than me - who had nothing to do but listen to the raving. In response to my head-shaking wonder by the Hollywooders against the Christian Right of the Sith, she said, "Anybody who doesn't agree with their free-speech doesn't get any."

So, that was unpleasant.

I was glad Hotel Rwanda won for best screenplay. For the first time ever, Humanitas didn't give a 30-minute comedy Humanitas Prize. The Committee noted that comedies have been getting worse and worse and that they just didn't feel there was anything worth awarding $25,000 to. And I have to say, it didn't seem like a lot of the Gen X, up and coming, power brokers' audience was as enthusiastic about the anti-Red State raving as were the veteran Hollywood baby-boomers.

So, that was encouraging.

After the awards, I rendezvoused for a few moments with the iconic Hall sisters, and also to claim my free 30 lb. flower arrangement. (Humanitas always gives the table centerpieces away to whomever wants to lug them home.) I hadn't actually seen Barbara since last November at the CIMA Awards, so, I was excited to give her a hug and tell her, in person, that God has better things in store for her since Joan's demise. So, then, Barbara Hall said, "I have no way to get home." Karen had to get back to E-Ring so I chimed in, "I'll take you anywhere, Barb." It was settled then.

So, that was unexpected and nice.

There I was, full of happiness, getting to spend some actual face time with Barb, and also lugging my thirty pounds of flower arrangement toward the parking garage.

I knew we were in trouble when I didn't recognize the elevator to the garage. "Hmmmm," I said, my spider sense tingling, "I don't think I came up this elevator." Barb and Karen were engaged in a classic high-speed Hall exchange about Scientology and two baby tigers. Karen paused just a second to shrug, "There are a few different elevators." They went on while I could suddenly taste the banquet's chicken and poppyseed salad dressing rising in my throat. Karen waved good-bye and headed for another floor.

Barb and I got off and started walking. Barb was talking about surfing and spirituality, I think. I would have heard much more if I wasn't so sure I had never been on this floor of the parking garage in this present or any past lives. We walked along, the great showrunner and brilliant television writer, Barbara Hall, in her flip-flops and me, in semi-high heels and lugging the flowers. After a long walk, Barb said, "Where's your car anyway?" I gulped. "I don't remember."

So, that was frightening.

So stupid. Losing a car in a parking garage in L.A. is as bad as being late because of "traffic." It's something tourists do. It's completely uncool. It's much, much uncooler, when it is actually not cool, but hot and sticky in a fume filled parking garage and you are coercing a celebrity in flip-flops, to tromp around with you. It's particularly galling for me, who, if it wasn't for Jesus, would have started a religion to the Deity, "In Control."

Because it is Barb and me, our conversation moved from the way Satan influences human decision-making, to the potential for spiritual growth in Award banquets, to, you know, whether anyone has ever actually had a nervous breakdown in a Los Angeles parking garage.

So, that was cool and fun.

But our pilgrimage went on and on. Up and down aisles. Up and down elevators. Back and forth along the rows.

I can safely say part of me died somewhere on the oil spattered ground by a pretentious Ford that for one second I imagined was my Grand-Am. Kind of like the way wanderers in the desert see water.

We finally ended up accosting a couple of bow-tied clad valet guys. Barb, a much longer L.A. veteran than I shared her wisdom, "Be careful of men in white coats and bow-ties." I promised one of them, I'd always, always, always use valet parking in the future if they could help me find my car. So, eventually we got on one of the golfcarts. Barb sitting on the back with the flower arrangement, and me up front with the obliging but slightly sneering bow-tie wearer. Barb said cheerfully, "This reminds me of riding around the set on a golfcart." As Emily Dickinson wrote, "I envy the dead today..."

We found the car finally. Waiting right where I had said a hundred times it should be. We must have walked past it three times. It was more than odd. And then, we got on our way and spent another hour talking about God, life and Hollywood, while moving at the breathless clip of 15 miles per hour on the packed freeways.

I had too much fun, really, in a perverse and mortifying kind of way. Don't anyone EVER try to tell me the Divine doesn't have a sense of humor.

So, that was L.A. today.

23 comments:

Ed Brenegar said...

The world is changing. The old elites have lost their edge, lost control of their message, lost control of their thinking, lost control of the control of the medium for communicating their message.
The box office downturn isn't a conspiracy. It is simply a reflection of economics and lack of good stories artfully told. What I see happening is more honesty, authenticity and positive realism. That is what connects with people whether they are buying a car or going to the movies. Rant, spin and cynicism are losing.
Yet, the entrenched powers will cling to the past, looking for some insurgent group to blame the loss of their power to influence and control their industry. It isn't just Hollywood. It is in virtually every industry in America. The fundamentals have changed. As a result, there are opportunities awaiting to be realized. It is fascinating to watch and be apart of a true paradigmatic shift in human history. "Its only the beginning, folks!"

Anonymous said...

As many links as you want!

Anonymous said...

I am not sure I understand this business opportunity seeker mlm lead stuff but I want to help people so I keep trying to understand more about business opportunity seeker mlm lead

Anonymous said...

Imagine the power of tens of thousands of other web sites being able to easily

Anonymous said...

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading through your blog. Thanks for the great information. I will visit on a regular basis.

I have a internet marketing book site. It pretty much covers internet marketing book related items and services. You may find some of my content of interest.

Drop by my site some time and see what you think.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you! The information and Internet marketing product evaluations that you provide are great for beginner webmasters.

Now, I have a related start your own online home based business site/blog. It pretty much covers start your own online home based business related stuff. In addition, I supply the secrets that I used to make $12,124 from Google Adsense last month.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

Web Lover said...

Hello, I wanted to take a minute and tell you I enjoyed your blog!
You have a alot of great information here for kids and information relating to preschool painting ideas
I too have a website dealing with information, tips and ideas related to preschool painting ideas
If you have a minute or 2 stop by and pick up some FREE tips for you and your kids at Preschool Learning Online.com -preschool painting ideas

Anonymous said...

display your RSS feeds on their web sites for content.

Anonymous said...

Interesting web site. I've found whenever you're dealing with 2nd income opportunity, people might sign up but do nothing. That's whats so disappointing about trying to make a living online. You work your butt off on promoting, but if you don't have a product that sells itself folks won't do jack. Ahhhhh.....the life of an internet junkie.

Good luck,
Al Fanucchi Jr
Founder of SIDEjob.com
-------------------------------------
2nd income opportunityGet Paid Daily!

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed your blog.
Please visit
Advanced Business Marketing

And leave your comment.

Anonymous said...

Just go to Your inbox and Look for your Newsletter publication from the 3 Marketeers Club!

Anonymous said...

The ultimate internet marketing website is www.TheOnlinePromoters.com

Anonymous said...

Search engine optimization, submission and highly-targeted traffic can be found exclusively at www.TheOnlinePromoters.com

Anonymous said...

Hello ##NAME##, with all the information on work from home I became very overwhelmed. Anyway, I was online doing a specific search for the most current information on work from home and somehow I ended up on your site. ##NAME## to be frank, ##TITLE## wasn't not the exact match to what I was looking for, but boy am I glad I'm here. You've certainly managed to grab me attention and peak my interest. I must say this is a great blog and I'm most certainly happy that I stopped by eventhough it wasn't the work from home related information I was looking for. Thanks. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Hi there Blogger, Do you want to be VERY succesfull? I have been looking
around at blogs related to L.A. Story and I found your site. I like to help people with online
businesses. I have a site that is some what related to your blog and I thought it would help. So
I wanted to leave you a quick message while I was here. Take a look at my site you will be happy
you had did! The site deals with opt-in leads,optin leads,and Business opportunity Leadsrelated information.
Blogger, I also have some great stuff on my site that may be of assistance to you or some one
you know.

Thanks!

Don

Here are some sites you may want to look at.
Free Auto
Responder
to follow up with your contacts
wholesale distributor business
Work at home opportunity
Make Money Fast with your computer

Anonymous said...

Blogger,

Regarding L.A. Story. Are you interested in some
free advertising for your blog on free opt in leads?
You are welcome place your link on our site for free.
See free opt in leads or http://www.leadcub.net. We have a specific
category for free opt in leads. Good luck.

John

Get 10,000 free opt in leads right now.

Anonymous said...

a great opportunity, no selling, no phoning, no recruiting PERIOD!

Anonymous said...

Interesting blog...
Searching for purchase traffic
http://www.1st-choice-4-website-traffic.com
purchase traffic

Anonymous said...

Hi Blogger,

Saw your post on L.A. Story. We created a directory for
free url submission related sites on our website. You are welcome
to add your free url submission related blogs or sites, We get lots
of visitors so it should be a good opportunity for some
free advertising. See http://www.quickregister.net or click free url submission.
Cheers.

John

Free Search Engine Submission Service.

Anonymous said...

Cool blog you got. I was just out searching all the web for hydroponics midwest and your site popped up in the listings. Not 100% what I was searching for but interesting enough to read through and leave you a comment I guess.
Keep it up. Cheers

Anonymous said...

Interesting site but not exactly what I was searching for on http://www.homegrownhydroponics.ca/. Although I found some info useful. I will continue my search for grow hydroponics room now. Cheers

Anonymous said...

I was searching blogs,and I found yours.Please,
accept my congratulations for your excellent work!
If you have a moment, please visit my make money using site.
Have a good day!

Anonymous said...

Check this out for FREE...

This opportunity says:

"Your Ad" Will Be Instantly Displayed on Thousands of Websites and Read By Over 10 Million People Per Week For FREE, and It Only Takes 60 Seconds To Get Started!

To find out more visit: financial freedom site. It successfully exposes FREE information covering Traffic and financial freedom related stuff.