BLOGGIAMO A MILANO
Coming to you all live from the Catholic University of Milan. I am here for a few days, as part of an international program in screenwriting that the university offers annually. My sister and I are having fun - even if La Scala, the Duomo and even our hotel are all being renovated...
Judging from my email, Catholic Exchange just posted another of my columns. I can't get the embeded link to work on this Italian keyboard, so go here to read the piece: http://www.catholicexchange.com/vm/index.asp?art_id=26259
It is on why parents need to raise their kids WITH media, instead of INSTEAD of media. ABout half of my email is coming from annoyed parents who all seem to fit in the accusatory, not really a question, "So, how many children do YOU have?!"
I'm so relieved we believers save our nastiness for each other. It would be such a scandal to be this way with the pagans....
Anyway, Ciao y'all!
95 comments:
Re: Il Duomo: it's *always* under renovation. I think my parents, who've been to Milan at least six or seven times, mostly in the eighties, eventually gave up on finding out what it would look like w/o scaffolding.
Re: The article: haven't gotten the link to work yet. But I can guess why the parents are peeved. Barb: I don't know how your talks play in person, but in print, you come off as *invariably* crusading and dogmatic. Doesn't matter how trivial or how serious the subject matter, always the same tone. I agree w/ alot of what you have to say, but the way you say it almost always has me rolling my eyes. That's from a friendly audience. Multiply that factor by a thousand for people haven't already thought through this for themselves. And *then* bear in mind that people *hate* being told how they ought to raise their kids. Polite suggestions from anyone less than close friends tend to fall on deaf ears: what makes you think that a healthy dose of standard zealotry, coming from a single woman who's spent a big chunk of her life in the convent, and whose idea of light entertainment is Flannery fricking O'Connor, was going to make a positive impression?
I realize this sounds unrelentingly negative, but seriously, you're in the business of media and communication. It won't kill you to stop and think about your audience every once in a while ;)
-aragonvaar
Your article is great and I concurr wholeheartedly. We have this wierd dichotomy these days of over-protective parents who shield their children from disturbance, and parents who throw up their hands and hand over control to their children.
We have some pretty liberal rules about videogames and movies based on ratings for our 13 and 9 year old boys. In general, no M rated games and no R rated movies. But there are times when these rules are flexed. I make a point of watching TV with the kids and we talk about what we see, in a very casual, normal way. Just as my parents despaired of us watching "Green Acres" and "Doctor in the House" because the humour was bad, I cringe with some of the sitcoms on TV these days. But there is truth and beauty out there, and I want my kids to see it and think about it.
When I was eight, long before the release of Prince of Egypt, my parents had to explain the ugliness of slavery to me. I had had my first encounter with racists (Sorry to report the incident happened at my church). Although the whole concept deeply "disturbed" me, my parents prepared me for future situations that eventually happened while growing up in the 1960's South.
As I got older and the faces of evil changed, I usually recognized evil's disguise because my parents taught me to think, instead of just policing me.
The natural outcome of teaching a child to think while teaching him about God is prayer. Some of my most meaningful conversations with the Almighty happened when I was about John Thomas's age. Although no one knew of my private chats with God, He was already preparing my heart to bring the Gospel to my generation.
BTW, the rubber ducky photo next to the article really got my attention. Then I realized the piece was not about the duck.
Sorry, Aragonvaar, you don't get to play the "convent card" unless you read the article. Even then, it's an unnecessary personal dig. By virtue of the fact that she's from an Italian family, Barbara has probably logged in more hours observing various parents and children than than most child psychologists!
I did read Barbara's article and it was thought provoking -- what it was supposed to be. I lean towards not letting my kid watch a lot of tv, but even so enough gets in.
What I do try to make sure of is that my 13 yr. old son thinks critically about what he sees on TV and the computer. How have I done this? Since he was small, we've talked about the marketing aspects of popular performers' acts and various shows. He grasped it, even at a young age. We laugh about the stuff. I've tried to make sure he isn't exposed to titillating images. We homeschool so we have lots of time to talk about all sorts of things. Don't groan too much: we belong to a large, nonsectarian support group and his friends run about 33/33/33% believers, Jewish folks and nonbelievers.
He likes the fact that his friends provide a varied forum for him to hone all his arguments for the hope he has in Jesus.
The most important thing we do to keep the effects of our culture in perspective is to read the Bible almost daily. Getting to know God and how He would like us to live our lives has been invaluable. Seeing God's anger and compassion when the Israelites disobey and obey Him has been the best instruction ever.
I think Barb is right; we are here on earth and it's insane to think we can escape the culture that is all around us... judicious exposure at different ages and equipping our son with the tools necessary for critical thinking on matters of all kinds has been helpful for us. Of course the best idea is to pray to and trust in God and His guidance. This is our best shot at helping ourselves and our kids be 'in the world but not of it.'
Maureen
Buon giorno! E' bellissima ricevere notizie da Milano.
Well, I've botched that up, I'm sure. Read the article on Catholic Exchange and cringed. Yes, I was in agreement, but I could tell others would take it the wrong way. We don't shield our kids completely as do many other parents we know. Sometimes I regret not having been more strict, but on the other hand, we sure have had a great time with Princess Bride, Monty Python, and the like.
I liked the article! We live in a culture of extremes, and the same applies to this issue. Many parents either let their kids watch too much or nothing at all. I believe in a discerning balance between the two.
I was helping in my 5 year old's class, and one of his friends said his favorite movie was Terminator 3. OK, I haven't even seen Terminator 3! But then I have another friend who was in angst over letting her 4 year old watch Blue Clues.
I just believe in letting my kids (I have 4 ages 6 and under) watch a moderate amount of TV that is age appropriate! TV can be used wisely. We just need to be informed and discerning. Parents are so afraid something bad will have more influence over their kids then they do. Don't let it. Make yourselves a strong part of your kids lives, and trust yourself a little bit.
"I'm so relieved we believers save our nastiness for each other. It would be such a scandal to be this way with the pagans...."
I love your honesty! I laughed and laughed when I read that, Catholics... God bless um.
"his own nature will teach him how to say one thing while feeling another"
Ugh, well conveyed point.
Your point about "disturbed does not equal violated" is well made. I wish these upset parents could understand the ramifications of their naivete. Most parents would certainly not object to accedemic and athletic discipline, how much more important is spiritual discipline? A chilish understanding of evil and the consequences of sin leads to a childish, shallow, and poorly kept faith. Or at least it did in my experience.
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