FOR THE "WE DON'T EAT IT, WE JUST COOK IT" FILES

AP reports this week that the instances of sexually explicit material on television has increased in the last year. This is news to no one, it seems, except the people who make TV shows.

"I am blown away ... at how much sexual content there is in primetime television," said Paramount Television president Garry Hart. "It's a tidal wave."

It's like that great scene in Casablanca, when the Claude Reins character cries out while pocketing his roulette winnings:

"I'm SHOCKED, SHOCKED to find out that there is gambling going on here!"