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Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Emily Monday (...a day late...rats...)
576

I prayed, at first, a little Girl,
Because they told me to --
But stopped, when qualified to guess
How prayer would feel -- to me --

If I believed God looked around,
Each time my Childish eye
Fixed full, and steady, on his own
In Childish honesty --

And told him what I'd like, today,
And parts of his far plan
That baffled me --
The mingled side
Of his Divinity --

And often since, in Danger,
I count the force 'twould be
To have a God so strong as that
To hold my life for me

Till I could take the Balance
That tips so frequent, now,
It takes me all the while to poise --
And then -- it doesn't stay --


Here's my re-arrangement and filling in of the poem to get at it's meaning:

576

I prayed, at first, (when I was) a child, because they told me to --
But stopped, when (my life experiences taught me) how prayer would feel to me (if I were God).

Imagine if the Being we call God, looked around each time my Childish eye (presumed to ) fix full, and steady, on his own, in Childish honesty -- and told him what I'd like, today, and parts of his far plan that baffled me --(you know, how his Divinity becomes obscured and gets a bad rap when it gets mixed up in the material world)

And often since, in Danger, I count the force 'twould be to have a God so strong as that to hold my life for me. (But I am a grown up now and know that God doesn't do that.... this is Emily suffering through her God problem.)

(And I have no idea what this last stanza means. Anybody help out?)

Till I could take the Balance that tips so frequent, now,
It takes me all the while to poise --
And then -- it doesn't stay --