576
I prayed, at first, a little Girl,
Because they told me to --
But stopped, when qualified to guess
How prayer would feel -- to me --
If I believed God looked around,
Each time my Childish eye
Fixed full, and steady, on his own
In Childish honesty --
And told him what I'd like, today,
And parts of his far plan
That baffled me --
The mingled side
Of his Divinity --
And often since, in Danger,
I count the force 'twould be
To have a God so strong as that
To hold my life for me
Till I could take the Balance
That tips so frequent, now,
It takes me all the while to poise --
And then -- it doesn't stay --
Here's my re-arrangement and filling in of the poem to get at it's meaning:
576
I prayed, at first, (when I was) a child, because they told me to --
But stopped, when (my life experiences taught me) how prayer would feel to me (if I were God).
Imagine if the Being we call God, looked around each time my Childish eye (presumed to ) fix full, and steady, on his own, in Childish honesty -- and told him what I'd like, today, and parts of his far plan that baffled me --(you know, how his Divinity becomes obscured and gets a bad rap when it gets mixed up in the material world)
And often since, in Danger, I count the force 'twould be to have a God so strong as that to hold my life for me. (But I am a grown up now and know that God doesn't do that.... this is Emily suffering through her God problem.)
(And I have no idea what this last stanza means. Anybody help out?)
Till I could take the Balance that tips so frequent, now,
It takes me all the while to poise --
And then -- it doesn't stay --
1 comment:
A possible interpretation:
I prayed at first as a little girl, as I was told to do
But stopped to consider what prayer would be like, if I really believed that God Himself looks at me every time I call out to him in honesty
To tell him what I'd like, or the parts of his plan that I don't undertand
And since that time, when I'm in danger, I consider what it means to have God Himself protect me
Till I could regain my footing, which is hard to keep now. It takes me a while find the even keel, and even then it is fleeting.
I think the last stanza may be talking about finding that place of peace, which takes effort to reach, and then becomes upsot--an observation on the need to persevere in prayer perhaps.
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