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Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Pirates: Dead Man's Mess
Whatever.

Circuit City has been installing a new stereo system in my car for two days and over 16 hours now. Last night, they managed to still not get the steering wheel controls reconnected, and raised that by disconnecting my directional signals. There is a cineplex across the street, so I have gotten three movies in while waiting. Last night, I saw "the biggest movie in America!" with the "hugest opening in box-office history."

Yeah. I don't want to spend too much time here. My best advice is not to waste your money if you haven't already wasted it on this. This film has twice the production value of the original but offers less than half the charm and entertainment. It is a heartless sequence of sight gags interspersed with tedious dialogue sequences... I found some of the dialogue scenes really, really tedious because the actors accents or costuming made their speech unintelligible. There were some spiffy effects, but that's all really. Two hours into the movie, it was clear to me that the whole thing was basically a set-up for the next film.

Parents should be warned that some stuff in the movie - notable the dead pirates who are half men-half demonic barnacles - might be distubing for children.

Using all the narrative consistency present in Pirates: Chest, the moral of the review is, don't buy car stereo systems from Circuit City.