Friday, May 16, 2003

DARE TO BREAK FREE OF THE MATRIX RELOADED

FADE IN

EXT - AN URBAN CINEPLEX - NIGHT

A MOVIEGOER (in the prime demographic, male 18-35) stumbles out of the theater door and into the street. He approaches a park bench where a WARNER BROS MARKETING EXECUTIVE wearing a black trenchcoat and dark sunglasses counts a large pile of money.

EXECUTIVE
Ah! You are wondering what you are doing here. You
are wondering if you are losing your mind.

MOVIEGOER
I need answers. I think...I think I may need a refund.

A Wells-Fargo cash truck careens around the corner and slams on its breaks just before hitting the two men. They yawn.

EXECUTIVE
Now, that is where you are wrong. There are no refunds.
For most, there will only be regrets. For others, there will
be palatial estates on the coast of Southern France.

MOVIEGOER
I don't understand. We've been waiting so long. We were all
so sure, that - that - this movie was THE ONE!

Executive resumes counting cash. He chuckles softly.

EXECUTIVE
And what makes you think it isn't the one?

MOVIEGOER
Because it was so - so - so LAME! There was no story. There was
no suspense. The whole first act was one long boring piece
of banal crap. There was nothing original here! The Matrix Reloaded
is a terrible movie!

The Executive rises from the park bench and carefully places the cash in a nearby briefcase.

EXECUTIVE
Only for those who have brains.

He opens the door of the Wells-Fargo truck.

EXECUTIVE
You have paid a price for your new knowledge. $10, I believe on Fandango.
It is a green pill that has now freed you from your illusion. The Matrix
Reloaded
is not what anyone thinks. Not a movie at all. It's A
movement. A momentum. A way of life. A marketing campaign!

The Executive climbs aboard the truck. The moviegoer falls to the ground his head in his hands.

MOVIEGOER
But what am I going to do? The rest of the summer...
What will my friends and I talk about?

EXECUTIVE
Now, you have a choice. Hang on, and then in a few more months,
we can offer you a chance at recovering your illusion. For another
$10. It's your decision, Moviegoer. Get a life. Get unplugged. Or
forget this entire conversation, and go back to your friends and pretend.
Which is it going to be, Moviegoer?

FADE OUT

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